I have never read the Drizzt books, but various fanboy encounters online have inspired me to loathe them and him. Therefore, Drizzt gets chucked off the cliff.

Meanwhile, I shag hypothetical non-gay Vanyel - hell, I could shag gay Vanyel, he managed just fine with Shandi, but it'd be better if he enjoyed it - and run like hell before his tragedy aura kills me. And marry Tanis, my first literary love.

And, let's see. Shag Rio, he's pretty. Marry Captain N. Cliff He-Man, because fond of him as I am, his supporting cast would drive me crazy and I don't think I could take being the target of a Skeletor plot every time I turned around.