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Sep. 26th, 2003 11:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
joiedecombatThis is about RP and MU*ing, which makes it kind of petty by definition. I just kind of feel like griping, and there's nobody really around who I can gripe to without feeling guilty about it. Ergo LJ.
Lately - not all the time, but off and on for longer than I like - I've been getting the creeping feeling that a good many of the people I want to RP with don't have any particular desire to RP with me. Not 'cause they don't like me or whatever, but just because my style doesn't interest them, or my characters don't interest them, or there are too many other people who interest them more, or whatever.
There are only a few of the people I really like playing with who ask me for scenes with anything like regularity. The rest, if I want to RP with them, I have to ask. And hope that they're in the mood, or that I can catch them when they're available to play but not already promised to or playing with someone else. More often than not, it seems like there's some reason they can't scene with me.
Which, fine, okay. It happens. I don't want dancing monkeys. It's just frustrating to feel like the people whose RP I really like could take or leave me. It's really frustrating to have to wonder if it's okay to ask for a scene or if I'm becoming a pest, if I should take the reasons I'm given at face value or if I'm being put off on purpose.
If people don't want to RP with me, I'd rather be told. If there's something about my style that puts people off, I'd like to know about it. I hate second-guessing, and while I know that a lot of it is just me being silly and insecure and it's not actually based in anything, I'd feel a lot better if I could count on the people around me to tell it like it is and not give me any reason to wonder.
And I'm probably only feeling like this because I'm tired and a few scenes I've been in recently have kind of fallen apart, and I haven't been very satisfied with my own performance recently. Give me a few days and I'll probably feel silly for having gone off like this.
I just felt like venting.
Lately - not all the time, but off and on for longer than I like - I've been getting the creeping feeling that a good many of the people I want to RP with don't have any particular desire to RP with me. Not 'cause they don't like me or whatever, but just because my style doesn't interest them, or my characters don't interest them, or there are too many other people who interest them more, or whatever.
There are only a few of the people I really like playing with who ask me for scenes with anything like regularity. The rest, if I want to RP with them, I have to ask. And hope that they're in the mood, or that I can catch them when they're available to play but not already promised to or playing with someone else. More often than not, it seems like there's some reason they can't scene with me.
Which, fine, okay. It happens. I don't want dancing monkeys. It's just frustrating to feel like the people whose RP I really like could take or leave me. It's really frustrating to have to wonder if it's okay to ask for a scene or if I'm becoming a pest, if I should take the reasons I'm given at face value or if I'm being put off on purpose.
If people don't want to RP with me, I'd rather be told. If there's something about my style that puts people off, I'd like to know about it. I hate second-guessing, and while I know that a lot of it is just me being silly and insecure and it's not actually based in anything, I'd feel a lot better if I could count on the people around me to tell it like it is and not give me any reason to wonder.
And I'm probably only feeling like this because I'm tired and a few scenes I've been in recently have kind of fallen apart, and I haven't been very satisfied with my own performance recently. Give me a few days and I'll probably feel silly for having gone off like this.
I just felt like venting.
