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Sep. 26th, 2003 11:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
joiedecombatThis is about RP and MU*ing, which makes it kind of petty by definition. I just kind of feel like griping, and there's nobody really around who I can gripe to without feeling guilty about it. Ergo LJ.
Lately - not all the time, but off and on for longer than I like - I've been getting the creeping feeling that a good many of the people I want to RP with don't have any particular desire to RP with me. Not 'cause they don't like me or whatever, but just because my style doesn't interest them, or my characters don't interest them, or there are too many other people who interest them more, or whatever.
There are only a few of the people I really like playing with who ask me for scenes with anything like regularity. The rest, if I want to RP with them, I have to ask. And hope that they're in the mood, or that I can catch them when they're available to play but not already promised to or playing with someone else. More often than not, it seems like there's some reason they can't scene with me.
Which, fine, okay. It happens. I don't want dancing monkeys. It's just frustrating to feel like the people whose RP I really like could take or leave me. It's really frustrating to have to wonder if it's okay to ask for a scene or if I'm becoming a pest, if I should take the reasons I'm given at face value or if I'm being put off on purpose.
If people don't want to RP with me, I'd rather be told. If there's something about my style that puts people off, I'd like to know about it. I hate second-guessing, and while I know that a lot of it is just me being silly and insecure and it's not actually based in anything, I'd feel a lot better if I could count on the people around me to tell it like it is and not give me any reason to wonder.
And I'm probably only feeling like this because I'm tired and a few scenes I've been in recently have kind of fallen apart, and I haven't been very satisfied with my own performance recently. Give me a few days and I'll probably feel silly for having gone off like this.
I just felt like venting.
Lately - not all the time, but off and on for longer than I like - I've been getting the creeping feeling that a good many of the people I want to RP with don't have any particular desire to RP with me. Not 'cause they don't like me or whatever, but just because my style doesn't interest them, or my characters don't interest them, or there are too many other people who interest them more, or whatever.
There are only a few of the people I really like playing with who ask me for scenes with anything like regularity. The rest, if I want to RP with them, I have to ask. And hope that they're in the mood, or that I can catch them when they're available to play but not already promised to or playing with someone else. More often than not, it seems like there's some reason they can't scene with me.
Which, fine, okay. It happens. I don't want dancing monkeys. It's just frustrating to feel like the people whose RP I really like could take or leave me. It's really frustrating to have to wonder if it's okay to ask for a scene or if I'm becoming a pest, if I should take the reasons I'm given at face value or if I'm being put off on purpose.
If people don't want to RP with me, I'd rather be told. If there's something about my style that puts people off, I'd like to know about it. I hate second-guessing, and while I know that a lot of it is just me being silly and insecure and it's not actually based in anything, I'd feel a lot better if I could count on the people around me to tell it like it is and not give me any reason to wonder.
And I'm probably only feeling like this because I'm tired and a few scenes I've been in recently have kind of fallen apart, and I haven't been very satisfied with my own performance recently. Give me a few days and I'll probably feel silly for having gone off like this.
I just felt like venting.
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Date: 2003-09-26 11:58 pm (UTC)*SNUGS* I'm fairly certain I'm one of those people you think you might be 'pestering', 'cause I don't often ask people for scenage--I /get/ asked. God that sounds arrogant. Nf. But. The point of this post is: I *heart* your RP style, and I *love* your characters, and if I've made you feel unwanted or pestery? I'm /really/ sorry.
I have a habit of neglecting people, and I don't /mean/ to, and that doesn't make it any better. So I wanna say I'm sorry, and let you know that I /do/, in fact, wanna RP with you. More on PI and more on MU, and after this weekend, I'll be more than happy to devote time to scenage.
*snugs*
no subject
Date: 2003-09-27 08:30 pm (UTC)>Lately - not all the time, but off and on for longer than I like - I've been getting the creeping feeling that a good many of the people I want to RP with don't have any particular desire to RP with me. Not 'cause they don't like me or whatever, but just because my style doesn't interest them, or my characters don't interest them, or there are too many other people who interest them more, or whatever.<
You're not the only one to feel this way, especially recently. While I know a good deal of it comes from my schedule not intersecting in any useful fashion with others, and in some cases I've simply managed to write my particular PC into a corner, I still get that creeping unease about feeling like I'm not entirely wanted, as well.
But for what it's worth, while I'm not one you've been 'pestering', I'd be happy to RP, if you like. We used to RP relatively regularly, a while back, though that seems to have fallen off. Or, if I can offer another suggestion - when the ones you're seeking are busy, try someone you haven't before, or someone you haven't RPed with in a while. While we've got an excellent circle of RPers with a long history (in MU* terms, anyway) I think we may collectively occasionally be a bit blind to those outside it, simply because we've got so much going on with those characters already. But, your mileage may vary.
no subject
Date: 2003-09-28 03:44 am (UTC)I really, really hope I'm not someone who's making you feel this way, because if I haven't been asking for RP, it's only because I assumed you knew I wanted to. You rock. Your characters rock. You're one of my absolutely favorite people to play with.
So. there. Yeah. I'm right. Anyone who says otherwise can take a long walk off of a short pier.
no subject
Date: 2003-09-29 07:01 am (UTC)I don't tend to ask for RP, even when I really really want it. Dumb, I know, but that's how I am. I always feel like I'm pestering, and that if people want to RP with me, they'll let me know. Scared stiff of making a nuisance of myself, so I go 10,000 miles in the opposite direction and never ask.
Seriously, though.. you are far too much fun to RP with for me to believe that there are people on the mu*s you and I are on who are avoiding RP with you.
Tisi