[Gundam SEED] when the creative process attacks

[joiedecombat]

I have been trying to write an Andy/Murrue fic since February.

That is kind of sad.

Particularly since I really haven't made much progress worth mentioning. I have an assortment of ideas, but they have yet to gel into an actual fic. I tried a bit of semi-stream-of-consciousness noodling with just dialogue to see what I could shake loose, but I can't say it's helped all that much.

--

"There was someone else, a few years ago. A mobile armor pilot. - You'd think I'd learn. - He was killed in action, in some pointless little skirmish. I was on Earth at the time... it took a long while before anything was confirmed. And I thought then - I remember thinking - that I would rather have been there. That, as terrible as it would be, at least then it would seem real... and there would be some kind of closure."

"Doesn't help, does it."

"No. There isn't any closure in it. It was just..."

"...?"

"...I'm sorry. I was about to say, it was... like having my right arm amputated."

He let out a short bark of laughter. "It's fine. ... It's a lot like that."

--

"I'm sorry I never got to meet her," Murrue said.

He considered her for a moment. "I'd say you would have gotten along, but I don't really know. You aren't much alike, and I've never been good at understanding women."

A brief, vague smile crossed her face. "We're not that different from men."

"It's all right." He saluted her lazily. "I like things I don't understand."

--

"I almost regret not getting the chance to fight him myself," he said.

She didn't look at him. "That would have been a shame."

"Hmm." He couldn't argue that. "But it would have been a fight for the history books, wouldn't it? The Hawk versus the Tiger."

"Haven't you had enough of fighting?" she wondered, and though her voice was soft there was an edge to it that he hadn't heard in quite some time.

He let the subject drop.

--

The idea that I'm simmering focuses on Valentine's Day and the unique significance it holds in the SEEDverse following Bloody Valentine and the ensuing war - there's something really intriguing about seeing an established lovers' holiday turn into a day for remembering grief and loss, and the particular perspective that Andy and Murrue would have on it, having both lost the ones they loved to the war. Understanding one another's grief draws them together, but it can't be easy to build a relationship when the ghosts of both your lost loves are (metaphorically) still so present.

I don't have a storyline, just an assortment of things I'd like to explore, like how Andy, who as a Coordinator and a soldier must be accustomed to a high level of physical ability, deals with physical disability - and more significantly how he settles into a civilian life and how much he has to struggle with boredom (cribbing shamelessly from the novelization, in which he refers to boredom as "my oldest enemy" and is pleased after first fighting Kira because he's found a stimulating challenge) - how the two of them came to be living together as shown in the earlier parts of Destiny, the reason for which I imagine must have been a series of practical considerations (Andy having to get used to brand new prosthesis, Murrue needing a place to live since she can't really go back to the Atlantic Federation after deserting) carefully arranged around the more basic need to not be alone - the basic concept of the relationship, mutual support and life going on and really not being about Romance or Passion or zomg True Love because at this point they've been there and done that and don't need to cover that ground again, and God, Murrue's tired of being the one left behind - and finding the balance between honoring the memory of the one you loved, and not being so tied to those memories that you aren't really living the life that they died to protect.

And I am embarrassed at how long it took me just to hack out those last two paragraphs. :(

Edit: I also kind of want to make some use of Derek Walcott's "Sea Canes," which may be cheap of me, but...

Half my friends are dead.
I will make you new ones, said earth
No, give me them back, as they were, instead,
with faults and all, I cried.

Tonight I can snatch their talk
from the faint surf's drone
through the canes, but I cannot walk

on the moonlit leaves of ocean
down that white road alone,
or float with the dreaming motion

of owls leaving earth's load.
O earth, the number of friends you keep
exceeds those left to be loved.

The sea-canes by the cliff flash green and silver;
they were the seraph lances of my faith,
but out of what is lost grows something stronger

that has the rational radiance of stone,
enduring moonlight, further than despair,
strong as the wind, that through dividing canes

brings those we love before us, as they were,
with faults and all, not nobler, just there.

Comments

[annwyd.livejournal.com]

Needless to say, I look forward to reading this. Even those dialogue snippets are really interesting.

I confess I've always been kind of fascinated by the parallels between Andy and Mwu. They're not the same--Andy is geekier, more sardonic, cleverer; Mwu is more boyish and attention-hungry, less resigned somehow--but they both have that essential core of being a soldier and a kind person and having trouble balancing the two sometimes. Even before they ever meet, Mwu is the quickest to understand that Andy is both a good man and a ruthless soldier. I would have liked to have seen more scenes between the two of them.

[joiedecombat.livejournal.com]

...or possibly any scenes between the two of them; do we ever actually see them interact?

There are definite parallels between the two characters, and the inevitable comparisons - between Mwu and Andy, and between Aisha and Murrue, which is harder because Aisha doesn't get a lot of development - are another thing that I'd like to work with at least a little.

[annwyd.livejournal.com]

I think there's one scene where they're in the Archangel's lift discussing something tactical, but I forget the details.

Maybe I'll fic Andy attempting to get Mwu to play chess with him.

[joiedecombat.livejournal.com]

Andy and Mwu in friendly competition would be awesome squared. You should write it!

[annwyd.livejournal.com]

Damn, like I needed another fic idea. Oh well. Maybe tomorrow! *falls off to bed*

[funwithrage.livejournal.com]

The idea that I'm simmering focuses on Valentine's Day and the unique significance it holds in the SEEDverse following Bloody Valentine and the ensuing war - there's something really intriguing about seeing an established lovers' holiday turn into a day for remembering grief and loss, and the particular perspective that Andy and Murrue would have on it, having both lost the ones they loved to the war.


This is an awesome concept, and I really like what you've written. Also, I am struck by the Walcott and now need to read more of his poems. Looking forward to seeing story!